How (not) to save the world in seven days: A survival guide for the short-term global surgery mission trip.

Short-term global surgery mission trips are often undertaken with commendable intentions and have undoubtedly benefited many patients and institutions. However, the culture surrounding some outreach programmes may occasionally drift toward performative benevolence, fleeting expertise, disproportionate self-congratulation, and limited engagement with local priorities. Through a deliberately exaggerated "survival guide" format, this satirical commentary playfully examines familiar tendencies within short-term surgical outreach, including documentation exceeding operative contribution, sustainability existing largely in presentations, and cultural immersion achieved between airport transfers. Beneath the humour lies a serious reflection on partnership, humility, continuity, and ethical engagement in global surgery collaborations. The piece aims to entertain, provoke discomfort, and encourage introspection in equal measure.