An Auto-Ethnographic Study of the Disembodied Experience of a Novice Researcher Doing Qualitative Cancer Research.

Qualitative health researchers who explore individuals' experiences of illness are exposed to an emotionally demanding work environment. After doing 49 interviews with cancer patients living alone, I was confronted with serious emotional distress that kept me from my work for almost 6 months. Because there is a need for discussion within academia about the emotional risks encountered by researchers, I used auto-ethnography to explore what I call the "three disembodied experiences" I encountered during the research: disembodiment linked with suppression of emotions, disembodiment linked with distal traumatization, and disembodiment linked with overidentification with the participant. I illustrate these concepts with personal stories of doing research with cancer patients living alone. I conclude that writing down experiences of doing qualitative research in an embodied and reflexive way holds two advantages: It can protect the researcher and enhance the quality of research.