"Struggle against Bitter Life": Lived Experience of Iranian Nurses with HIV/AIDS.

Objectives: The impact of HIV/AIDS on the healthcare system in many countries, particularly in developing countries is significant. Due to the high prevalence of HIV/AIDS in these countries, remarkable number of nurses have contracted HIV through their work. HIV/AIDS poses a major threat to people's physical and emotional health status as well as their social well-being and it has overwhelming effects on personal and social lives of HIV-positive people. HIV-positive nurses, like other patients, are subject to many stresses, but because of their special professional and social conditions they may bear more psychological and social burdens. Materials and methods: A hermeneutic phenomenological approach was used to examine the everyday experiences of nurses who suffer HIV/AIDS. To conduct the study, six methodical steps which developed by van Manen (1990) applied in the process of the inquiry. Eight HIV-positive nurses were recruited and selected through a purposive sampling method. Data was collected by conducting 12 face-to-face in-depth semi-structured interviews with participants, two women and six men who became HIV-infected through occupational exposure. A thematic analysis method was used to extract themes and sub-themes. Results:Through thematic analysis of transcriptions, two main themes 'past, not passed' and 'struggle against bitter life' emerged. We found that the daily life of HIV/AIDS nurses is like a limbo between the past and the present. They are constantly trying to push themselves from this limbo of death to life. Conclusion:According to the results, participants were immersed in bitter memories of their past, which has always cast a dark shadow over their lives. Their lived space surrounded by many bitterness and adversities, yet they have the enthusiasm to move on with their lives and struggle day-to-day to maintain their relative health and have their job as a nurse. As result, management of HIV/AIDS is not only about fighting the virus, but it imposes many issues and problems on nurses, which should be given more attention and support.