The Goldilocks method for partner selection: Ideal male partner physique and subcultural appearance identity preferences among sexual minority men in the United States.

Many SMM believe that leanness and muscularity are highly valued by other SMM when searching for prospective partners. The similarity and matching hypotheses propose that individuals prefer partners who resemble themselves in characteristics such as physical attractiveness. However, strong cultural pressure to embody a mesomorphic ideal may complicate SMM partner preferences for body type. This study examines this tension by assessing ideal male partner physique preferences among SMM at two levels: (1) continuous ratings of leanness and muscularity and (2) subcultural appearance identities (SAIs), which are self-ascribed identities based on physical appearance (twinks, jocks, bears, otters, chubs, cubs). In a cross-sectional survey, 399 U.S. SMM rated their own bodies and ideal partners' bodies using the Body Image Matrix of Thinness and Muscularity for Male Bodies. A subset of participants (n = 244) identified with an SAI and reported willingness to partner with each SAI type. Results indicated that SMM preferred partners who were leaner and muscular than themselves. However, when accounting for participants' own physiques, preferences converged within a bounded range, revealing a "Goldilocks" pattern-preferences neither too extreme nor too similar, but consistently oriented toward the cultural ideal. Rather, just right. Across the body composition spectrum, SMM preferred partners whose bodies were consistently oriented toward the cultural ideal. At the SAI level, culturally ideal SAIs strongly preferred culturally ideal partners. Non-culturally ideal SAIs showed no systematic preferences, indicating their preferences were more inclusive. Overall, SMM partner preferences reflect preferences within an ideal bounded range rather than pure similarity.