Emotional trade-offs of becoming a parent: how social roles influence self-discrepancy effects.

Why do some people suffer from becoming a parent, whereas others do not? New parents' actual selves were related to their own hopes for themselves (ideal self) and to their spouse's sense of their responsibilities (ought self). Prebirth actual-ideal discrepancies predicted increased sadness or dejection after birth (especially for couples in longer marriages), whereas prebirth actual-ought discrepancies predicted decreased nervousness or agitation after birth (especially for mothers and couples with a less "easy" child). Becoming a parent introduces new demands that both interfere with attaining one's own hopes (increasing dejection in parents high in ideal [own] discrepancy) and shift attention to the new parenting role (decreasing agitation in parents high in ought [spouse] discrepancy).