No safe place: parental alcoholism and adolescent suicide.

A child growing up in an alcoholic home develops either little self-consolidation (I-ness) and efficacy (I can) or a distorted self (I am insignificant). This results in a desperate search for a soothing-object (We-ness). The sadomasochistic behaviors, which a youth witnesses and is subjected to, become internalized as survival skills, but ultimately fail. These factors set the stage for a destructive modus operandi. When there is peer group attachment pressure, this teen does not find security when questioning, "Who am I?" because there is no "I" and no "We". Instead, this adolescent experiences fear, anxiety, and range, and wonders, "What's going to happen to me?" This propels the youth into frantic behaviors that are meant to confirm a sense of "We-ness" and competence. The result, however, is greater frustration and a mirroring of the opposite. Also, since there is a diminutive capacity for trust and an exiguous chance to reach out or respond to significant others, external soothingness becomes unobtainable. When the adolescent is confronted with aloneness, helplessness, and hopelessness, desperation results and a search for a safe place ensues. Suicide holds such an illusion. It is the embodiment of sadomasochism and permits the cognition "I am capable." A case study illustrates the problems.